So let me give you all my back story. I’m a 30+ year old, wife, and mom I have 2 beautiful daughters ages 12 & 4 and 3 crazy amazing dogs as well. Now me and my husband have been TTC for almost a year now believe it or not. Now last year in late December I found out that we were expecting and we all we’re excited. I had called and scheduled an appointment with my OB/GYN and it was set up for the following week. Now the next day I started having this migraine that was on a scale of 100 that’s how bad my head was hurting and I’m like well I am pregnant so it’s all good right boy was I wrong. Started vomiting every hour if that and I didn’t know what was happening to me because this wasn’t like how I was being pregnant with both my daughters so at this point I knew something was very wrong. So after vomiting over and over I was finally able to finally go to sleep because that terrible migraine was gone. I get up the next morning and I’ll be damned now I’m bleeding and it was very heavy and right there I knew that I wasn’t pregnant anymore but me being me I still went to the emergency room just to make sure. So we at the ER this before COVID-19 hit us all so very hard and we waiting on me to be seen by the doctor. So I’m finally I’m the exam room and the nurse ask me why I’m here and I told her I just found out I’m pregnant and I’m been experiencing some nonstop vomiting and a terrible migraine and now heavy bleeding. She was like okay well we gone draw your blood and have you pee in a cup just to check and see if you’re still pregnant. Now I’ve did all she asked of me to do and I’m waiting in the exam room all by myself waiting on the nurse and doctor to come tell me the news. So the doctor finally comes in and she checks my crevice and it was closed and so goes to tell me that my blood work came back and my pregnancy levels wasn’t multiplying like they should be boom that was when I knew I was right. Now at this moment I went deaf for some seconds because I’m trying to process all this and how I’m gone tell my family that I had an early miscarriage. My heart got broken that day. I finally told my family and friends that I had told and they all say that they were sorry. Now I bled for for a couple of days and couldn’t take a bath for 2 weeks I hated that because I’m not a shower person at all. Now fast forward after having that miscarriage I had those thoughts in the back of my mind that I didn’t want to try again because I didn’t want to experience that pain, heartache all over again. So now it’s mid January and we start back TTC and it took us about 5-6 months before I got another positive pregnancy test. So mid June of 2020 I found out that I was pregnant again for the second time and boy was I scared out this world. Schedule me an appointment with my OB/GYN and seen him that following week. He did a vaginal ultrasound, sonogram, Pap smear and he told me when I start to bled go straight to the ER and I was like okay Dr I sure will. I had to schedule for my ultrasound the following week to see how far along I was. So I’m finally back home and I noticed some blood but it wasn’t a lot it was spotting and I thought well I did just get a Pap smear done along with a vaginal ultrasound so my cervix has been irritated so I didn’t pay it no mind at all. So I continue to spot the rest of thy day which wasn’t bad but the next day it was nothing at all so I was relieved but later on in the day the blood was back and it was heavy so I knew once again my worse nightmare was starting all over again. Now it’s 2020 so COVID was affecting us all! I took myself to the ER checked in, got temperature checked and sat down and waited on my name to be called. Im talking to the nurse and she’s asking me all these questions and boom she was like Ms we just saw you in January for an early miscarriage and now you’re back I was like yes ma’am I’m back. She was like how heavy is the bleeding like was like not very heavy. They did blood work, vaginal ultrasound, Pap smear and sonogram and I told them I had just got all that back in January but they still went ahead and did it. I’m now waiting for hrs now for the nurse and doctor to come back. They finally come back and the doctor told me that I had an early miscarriage and that she was so very sorry for my loss. I went tone deaf again because once again my nightmare came back to hunt me 😢 I couldn’t believe it that I had experienced another miscarriage after TTC all them months. Now I call my OB/GYN office and let them know that I had another miscarriage. I still had to go to my ultrasound appointment and that even made it more worse for me. I went to that appointment and I had to inform her that I miscarriage and she said she was very sorry 😢 and now I’m back sad again. She told me that everything looked good. Now at this moment my doctor comes into the room and told me to schedule an appointment with him. I schedule an appointment with him and I see him in a week or so. I finally see my Dr and he’s asking me questions and I’m like doc they didn’t tell you I had another miscarriage he was like yes they told me. He was like are you trying to get pregnant I just gave him that blank stare look like yes I am trying to get pregnant. So he wants to give me the run down on what that I should be taking prenatal vitamins have been for years now and that he doesn’t want us to start back TTC until mid December and use condoms until December. This appointment was in August. I was like doc that’s 3-4 months using condoms he was like yes it’s is because I don’t want you to have another early miscarriage. So here it is 12/31/20 and guess what we haven’t been TTC at all! So 12/28/20 made a year when I found out I was pregnant and 1/120 will make a year for my first miscarriage 😢 last Saturday I had a huge breakdown because it finally hit me all at once. And as I’m telling you ladies my story I’m crying 😢 right now. I never knew what it felt like to be pregnant one minute and then not to be but now I do know and I don’t wish this on anyone because everyone isn’t the same. Both these losses put me in a dark place and I didn’t like it at all. If you’ve struggled like I have please understand that you’re NOT ALONE anymore!!!!! Thanks for reading my story ❤️