Engaged and Stressed

Hi All, I’m just looking for thoughts or ideas, not negatively, I have anxiety as it is. It’s a little long but PLEASE read it ans give me your thoughts or ideas.

I’m recently engaged and my fiancé is hyper-sensitive, extremely “touchy feely” and sometimes he acts more needy than my own children. We both come from previous marriages with children. I have a 9, 2 and 4 year old and he has 7 and 5 year old who lives in another state.

My fiancé does take antidepressants and anxiety pills. When I first met him he was always with a grey cloud over his head. Every week he gets sad over small things. Like one time we watched the notebook and he got sad and fought with me because he said he doesn’t think I’d love him if he had dementia like the lady in the movie. I couldn’t believe it. He even started to cry when I asked him to home to avoid it being a bigger fight because I know how he is. ( we are in process of moving together but not yet)

Having being raised in a single parent home I was raised to be strong and independent. I love and I’m affectionate but I do not need to be held 8 times a day. 2 or 3 is fine if it has to be more than once. If I don’t tell him I love him every single day he gets upset and he behave to pester me with texts saying I don’t love him. If I hug him twice in the day and later while I’m cooking or cleaning he wants hugs. I give it to him but I’m short because Usually when I’m doing something I’m focused on it. Sometimes I’ll sit next to him and cuddle and kiss him. Then later if I don’t do it he will throw a tantrum about I don’t think he is enough because I won’t accept that he is needy. He needs more than most. He told me he needs more attention. But I’m being a normal woman in the house. I give him attention every day. I just don’t hug him 6 times a day.

I don’t want to be rude or heartless. My 9 year old doesn’t even act that way. All day my 4 year old and 2 year old is pulling my arms , they cry, and they are calling mama 20 times a day. They need hugs and kisses because they fall or hungry, or toy broke etc. my fiancé comes home and cries to me about things not that serious. Like once he said his 5 year old wanted to hang up the phone cause she was doing something. He came to me and said he was sad. I said don’t be sad , she is busy and she loves you. All the time she calls you. I told him don’t over think it. But he insist and threw a pity party.

Last night he came to my house smell like pure alcohol like old man homeless people smell when their alcoholics. He knows I don’t like it and I don’t agree with him drinking that much on those meds and with his diabetes shots. We hugged 2 times a kissed that day. When he trued to grab me while I was cleaning I said hey let me finish want I’m doing. I was repulsive too because of his smell. He later said he spilled beer that’s why he smelled. I don’t know !

Lastly he takes every thing I said and turn himself into a victim. He has very dry mouth from his diabetes. At times his breath smells like pure poopoo. I didn’t say anything when we first met but later when I loved him I asked about it and he explained what he think it was. So I bought him dental things and mouth washes to help him. I also told him I’ll always let him know if it smells bad so other people don’t avoid you. Personally I thought it is the right thing to do to look out for your man. Last night I said here babe, I gave him a mint. We agreed to let eachother know. So last night he also starts mocking me and saying “”” blah blah my fiancé breath smell like poo, I don’t love him, he smells like beer. Blah blah” AND, If I tell him anything bad like he is not being nice or mature or he needs a mint, he will switch it around and say I smell instead or say I’m the child instead.

I’m starting to feel like running. But I do care and I don’t know if he is just immature 32 year old that needs to grow up more or if I’m doomed if I marry him. ☹️