Today I let me anxiety win. Unfortunately I cried a lot. I had flash backs. I threw up. I got down on myself.

I’ve been having dreams of what my ex did to me the last 3 nights. It hurts. They feel sooo realistic and when I wake up I can feel his hands 🤢makes me so sick. My skin hurts thinking about him and the things he did.

So today I woke up put makeup on. Had flash backs. Then I drove past the house where my current boyfriend hurt me (not physically but emotionally) where he chose others over me. It made me throw up just driving past. The anxiety I get when I drive past there is uncontrollable and so heavy.

I felt like a horrible mom all day because that’s why anxiety does. Those who suffer with it understand how it takes over even when you try so hard not to let it. My boyfriend came home and I told him about me throwing up because of my anxiety he looked at my like I was a freak and went on.

I told him I wasn’t feeling okay today. We laid down. I asked him to hold me because I just really need him right now beings I’m hurting in many ways. He told me no and rolled over. So here I am bawling my eyes out because I’m in pain and need him and like usual he’s not here for me. So I needed to come here and vent. But I also wanted to let any other people who suffer like me or worse that you’re not alone. Days like these are so hard. But you’re not alone.