he’s 4 months old, i just feel like i’m not a good mom. i have thoughts of harming him, they stopped for a while and now they’re back. i just can’t do it anymore. his dad doesn’t want him. i want him so bad but i can’t do it alone. it’s hard and i’m not good at it. idk what i’m doing and he doesn’t like me. he loves my mom lights up for her but half the time he just cries for me. i just want to sign my rights over to my mom and leave. i’m tired. it’s not what i imagine having my first child would be like. i thought i’d be happy and in love.