Are there any genetic counselors in this group?

We are planning baby #3

My husband has polydactyly, Our 1st son dif not get it, but our 2nd son did get it.

My husbands dad has it, he passed it on to his two sons but his two daughters did not get it.

My husbands granfather was the 1st in the family to have it that I know of, He passed it on to his son and his two daughters.

One of his daughters didnt pass it on to her daughter but her son had it. The other daughter has a son but he didnt get it either.

My question is: How likely is it that our 3rd child to get it? Also, it seems to not show up as much in girls, is that just likely? Would our odds be same no matter what the gender is?

My last question is the defect has shown in so many different variations and ways, is it likely that it could be worse than how my husband has it? Any other information would be greatly appreciated, our son is having to go through atleast 6 surgerys as he has both hands and both feet & we are scared for our next child.