I’ve been with my boyfriend 5 years now, we just recently bought a house together I’m 20 he’s 23. He’s always been a really high ego’d man always thinking he knows what’s best, even when it comes to people’s opinions. Some can just say he’s a dick. He’s very judgmental and can be the most hurtful person. He’s never ever put a hand on me or anyone I know. I love him so much but I have no clue if the feelings are still there. I like his company but then again I don’t.

Our anniversary is coming up & I don’t know if I’m ever gonna be ready for marriage with him. I don’t want to say yes because it feels right or that we have been together for so long, I don’t want to break his heart either. He has a hard time communicating with me. When we have arguments or disagreements or when I simply just wanna talk to him about how I feel he walks away from it and avoids the conversations & arguments. Then hours later acts like nothing has happened. So our problems just get put aside and never get brought up again. That’s how it’s been for 5 years.

He’s very independent then the next day he isn’t, it feels like he dose not care about my feelings but then when something is wrong with him he makes it seem like only his feelings matter and you half to help him.

He’s a great man & will help me whenever I need it but after we bought this house and now are living together in our own house things have changed drastically. I lived with him for 3.5 years at his parents and it was different now I feel trapped & always in the way of him. I can’t ask him if he’s happy cause then he will turn it on me, or he says he is happy but I have no clue if he means it. I’m honestly thinking I’m not happy anymore cause I have no clue what too feel.

This lac of communication & feelings for one another are throwing so many mixed signals at me.

I love him so much but I’m just not feeling the way I used to about him. I don’t wanna leave him but I don’t want to stay and keep feeling like I’m wasting my time with someone who won’t ever changed. He is a only child and was spoiled.

And still has that behavior, I feel like he’s he is so ungrateful cause he doesn’t know how to show feelings or emotions?

I’ve tried talking to him about how I feel but it turns into an argument, and he brings money and things he’s done to try and put down his dominance towards me. He always feels the need to be above everyone else. He does not see his flaws.

And I can’t point them out too him.

Sometimes when I do get through to him he plays a pity card and try’s to guilt trip me. I fall for it every time hurting myself more. I know I can run away from all of this but I’ve been wanting to fix it but I don’t know how to fix something when the other dose not see a flaw.

I feel like I’m drowning in my life only able to get air when I go to work, or drive an hour to see my brothers for a weekend.

I feel guilty feeling the way I do towards him. But he can’t seem to understand where I’m coming from. I have no clue how to approach conversations with him anymore about how I feel cause I always get shut down. Or avoided. I don’t know what I can do to fix this or even if I wanna try and fix this, I love him unconditionally for all that he has done for me and the things we have accomplished in our 5 years. I don’t wanna look for someone else to fill my needs to make me happy to make me feel wanted. I want or wanted him...

The sex isn’t what it used to be, now it’s more of a there’s a body I just wanna get my needs filled is how I feel I don’t initiate the sex cause it just don’t feel the same, I don’t wanna feel like an object to him I wanna feel the passion and or love..

It hits home for me when I try so hard and get little to NO change from him. When I’d move mountains for him. He brags about how he can do all these things but he’s got paid time off & a mom that pays for his vehicles insurance when I pay all my own bills my loan my insurance my phone, I’m tired of trying to compete with someone who never seems to loose.

Why do I feel like I’m in some competition?

Why do I feel guilty for someone who has so much control over me?

Why do I love someone this much that can’t understand me or ask me how I’m doing?

Why do I feel like I don’t love myself?

Why is this so stressful?

I know when your so far deep into a relationship the lovey stage will/has passed and things will get worse or better. I understand that things won’t be as they were. But I don’t understand why I feel so guilty for someone who barley cares about me.

I don’t know what’s best. I don’t wanna hurt him. I don’t wanna keep hurting myself.

But leaving him would hurt me.

He won’t ever try therapy or anything that involves talking about problems.

He can be an emotional guy sometimes but he has a thick skull..

I need advise..