*Long post warning, I started writing to help me process everything and just kept going! 😅

I was due with our second child, first girl, on January 8, but because her big brother was induced a week and a half late I wasn’t surprised when our due date came and went with no signs of labor. We decided to have a home birth this time around, partly due to Covid restrictions at the hospital. We rented a birthing pool, gathered all the supplies, and had plans with our doctor and two doulas (one in training) to arrive whenever labor was established.

On the evening of the 10th as I was getting ready for bed I started having contractions about 10 minutes apart, but they were mild enough I decided to go to bed and try and get some sleep in case the real deal was coming soon. They lasted most of the night but never increased in intensity and stopped completely around 6am. I was disappointed and exhausted after a mostly sleepless night. The next day I was super uncomfortable all day and was having some Braxton hicks but nothing serious. We put our son to bed at 8pm and I settled down to eat a late dinner and bounce on my birthing ball in hopes of getting things going again. Contractions started up again every ten minutes apart, and they were more painful this time. My husband was a great support, reading me my birth affirmations and holding a heating pack on my back during the contractions. After two hours we decided to try and get some sleep since they were still 10 minutes apart, but as soon as I laid down I had a very painful contraction and I got back up to labor in the bathroom. After a few contractions on the toilet I felt my water break and things really picked up! At this point it was a little after 11 pm.

I told my husband to call our doctor and doula and tell them to come quickly. I went back to my birthing ball and kept timing contractions. They were still 10 minutes apart, but it was getting really hard to cope with the pain and I was starting to lose control. I told my husband to fill the birthing pool. Then my next contraction came… and another… and another. Suddenly I was in transition! Contractions jumped to two minutes apart with almost no break in between. At this point I was full out screaming. My husband was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off (God bless him, he really was amazing it was just a crazy situation) trying to fill the pool, call our doctor to hurry, etc, so I dealt with the transition pretty much on my own. It was so scary and overwhelming. After maybe 5 or 10 minutes I could feel huge pressure from her head and fell to my knees and leaned over the birthing ball. I could tell she was going to arrive before any of our birthing team got there. I felt the ring of fire and starting yelling at my poor husband to cut my underwear off! I tried so hard not to push because a) I wanted the doctor to be there to catch her and b) I tore badly with my son and wanted to try and give myself time to stretch. At this point the contractions felt different and I regained some control. It’s true what they say, pushing stage is a relief after transition! I did some deep breathing and tried to hold off but the urge to push was too strong. After a minute her head was born. (At this point my husband apparently had one hand on the baby’s head and was texting our birth partners with one hand! haha) I couldn’t hear her crying and my husband sounded worried so I decided to quickly push her body out with the next contraction so we could look at her and see how she was doing. The contraction came and I pushed and felt myself tear but didn’t care. My husband caught her and immediately handed her to me.

I was panicking at this point because she was a little blue and floppy and hadn’t properly cried yet. Her eyes were open and she was making little squeaks but I was so desperate to hear her really cry! It seemed like an eternity but apparently only a minute or two later my doula burst through the door and came and took her from me and began rubbing her with a towel. Slowly she pinked up and began to cry! We had an oxygen tank in case of emergencies and gave her some oxygen just as a precaution.

At this point my doctor arrived and took the baby and told us she looked great and healthy! After I knew my baby girl was okay I started shaking, and actually feeling my own pain. The birth was less than 4 hours total, only 2 hours of real active labor, and 10 minutes of transition/pushing. So so so intense, especially doing it alone with just my husband and I! My doctor stitched me up (I had several tears from how quickly she came, no surprise there) and I held baby girl for her first feed. She was so alert and nursed so well! After all the intensity and trauma of the evening it was sweet relief to hold my healthy baby girl. It wasn’t the birth experience I had dreamed, but I’m grateful to God that we had planned on a home birth, since there’s no way I would have made it to the hospital if that had been our plan! We had our doctor here a few minutes after she was born, all the medical equipment we needed, and I got to sleep in my own bed that night next to a sweet healthy baby. We are all so in love with her, especially her big brother, and are soaking in all the newborn snuggles we can!