All my life my dream has been to be a mommy. I found out I’m pregnant a few days ago, I’m 6 weeks 2 days. I’m a full time student and my boyfriend is unemployed because of covid it’s hard to find a stable job. Because of me being in school full-time I have a blessed life in the way that my dad gives me allowance and pays my boyfriend and I’s rent + utilities only until I graduate because he wanted me and my siblings to focus on school and school only with no other distractions ( aka a job) we just moved into a house in November and our lease is two years long and also pricey. Theirs no way we could get out of the lease either.

When I told my dad I was pregnant, he told me he supports me but that if I’m making the decision to be an adult that it starts NOW. No waiting until the baby is born to save. I understand it but it was unexpected. How do i go from being financially supported to doing everything myself in a day? Meaning he’s cutting me off while I’m still in school. I only have three semesters left, this semester, the summer and then I could be done in the fall (due date is September). This means right now I would need a full time job while in school full time while also pregnant (I have terrible morning sickness and I’m constantly throwing up) during a pandemic. I know it’s illegal not to hire pregnant woman but I know it happens anyways and I’m scared i won’t get a job. Especially one without officially having my degree. I love my boyfriend to death. I love our baby. But am I selfish for bringing this baby when I don’t know if I can provide for it?😓 I know people have been in other similar situations and made it work but this feels impossible. Abortion is something I have NEVER considered before but for some reason I’m torn and don’t know what to do.

I know ideally the smart answer would be to have an abortion, finish school, save my monthly allowance and have a baby when we’re ready.. but I love this baby. I love my boyfriend. I’ve always wanted to be a mommy. 😓

Have you had an abortion? How traumatizing is it? Will I recover from this if I do decide to go through?

Please help me. I’m so lost. I know it’s my body and ultimately my decision but I need guidance.