I never in a million years thought I would be in this position. I’ve read sad stories about mothers who are mistreated at home during pregnancy and even after during healing and trying to care for an infant.

I have a 16 year old daughter with bipolar disorder, and I don’t even know how to explain my husband. At times he’s strong but mostly he is drinking to avoid life it seems. His job prior had kept him away frequently (12 hour rotating shifts), but now that I’ve encouraged him to have a regular Monday through Friday day job (sometimes even off on Friday), it’s like he can’t handle life. He ends up drinking. He seems to think he doesn’t have a problem, but his father is a full blown alcoholic.

Im a firm believer in were the ones who choose our partner and the one who will father our children, don’t get me wrong...but sometimes life throws you curve balls and people change.

We also have four year old twins who are so precious, but they’re absolutely wild. It’s just their nature, even through discipline and structure. They’re just high strung and feed off one another.

I am due February 15th and while I’m thankful my situation isn’t as bad as some, I am beginning to get terrified to bring another baby home. I’ve already come to terms with I’ll likely be his main caregiver, little help. Family on both sides DONT bother at all being a support system, as a matter of fact, they’re all 8-13 hours away.

I already have so much on my plate and I don’t know how I will heal and do everything to hold my family together.

Anybody else out there struggling with a fear similar to mine or have gone through this? 🥴 (hats off to you if so by the way)