Compared to everything else people are going through right now, my problems are so insignificant but I can feel myself breaking a little more every day. I'm sitting in my bathroom right now having a breakdown and trying to hide it from my family cos I'm the oldest child in a single parent household and I need to be strong for them. I don't have the time or the energy to keep breaking down. I feel so stupid for breaking down over something so stupid. I'm trying so hard to keep it together but I keep failing. I'm failing at everything. I have PCOS and I feel like I'm failing as a woman. I did badly in 2nd yr of uni so I might not get the first class degree that my parents want so much for me. The thought of letting them down is crushing me. No guy has ever showed any interest in me at all. I'm almost 21 and have never ever been kissed so my non existent love life is a massive failure too. I just feel so alone. There are times when the wave of loneliness just hits out of nowhere and I'm trying so hard to keep it together. All my best friends have boyfriends and are so in love and I really am so happy for them but hearing about them being so happy just makes me think about how I'm not and brings up so many fears I have of being alone my whole life. I just feel so unwanted and insignificant, like if I disappeared, it wouldn't matter. There have been so many nights were I've cried myself to sleep because the loneliness is so suffocating. I want to be someone's person. The first thing they think of in the morning and the last thing at night. The person that they run to whenever they have news. I want to be loved. I want to matter. I love reading books and watching shows with my family but everytime I see a couple in love, its like a slap in the face and I'm so sick of it. I just want to get over this but I don't know how. I don't know what to do.