New baby and couple dynamics

I feel bad today. I have been so much grumpier with my husband since we had our baby. It’s only been five weeks and we are figuring it out, but still.

Let me explain. Our baby has been grumpy. Not bad, just fussy. Seems every time we figure it out something new occurs. First having a hard time with breastfeeding, then difficulty pooping, then acid reflux, and now, just not wanting to sleep. So getting her down for the night takes awhile and she is currently cluster feeding in the evenings. So it’s even harder to get her to sleep because she just wants to eat eat eat and by the end of it I’m sore and tired. So I finally got her to sleep and asked my hub to hold her while I got ready for bed. Next thing I know she is laying on our bed. This typically wouldn’t be a problem, but she wakes up when she isn’t being held and I had just worked so hard to get her into a deep sleep. So I mention he should pick her back up or she will wake up. He says if she does, he will get her back to sleep. Okay. Works for me.

Well, she woke up. She wasn’t mad, but she was awake after I had worked so hard. So he picks her up, walks a bit, bounces a bit, and then is convinced that she is tired enough that she will fall asleep if he lays her down.

And she doesn’t, surprise surprise, she wakes up even more and now wants to eat again. So I feed her, well she pooped. So I change her. Well now she is fussy again. So I’m trying to calm her while he is laying in bed next to us. After so much crying he says “try bouncing her.” I then hand her to him and say “you bounce her.” To which he responds, “okay grumpy.”

He half heartedly bounces her while she still won’t settle so he gives her back to me.

I, in my frustration, say “next time I tell you not to set her down because I don’t want to go through the trouble of getting her back to sleep, can you just listen to me?” To which I get silence. No response. So I say “you just going to ignore me?” Still nothing. So then I was up another 45 minutes getting her back to sleep while he went to bed next to us....

Do I think that was fair? No. Not at all. Do I think that was okay? No. Not at all. But do I wish I would have handled it differently. Yes. Today he did the laundry, cleaned the kitchen, did the dishes, and helped with the baby. It was great to have an extra hand today, yet I let that attitude of gratitude be ruined. Yes I had to stay up later, but I’m on leave and can take naps while baby sleeps. He has work tomorrow and has to get sleep while he can... I just hate how these things happen all the time now. We were great (and still are), but life with a baby makes everything more complicated and stressful...

This is just a rant...I realize I need to work on my attitude and make sure he knows I appreciate him more.