If you were pan would you come out to your family?

Question

I think I’m pan(I’m 14). I’ve never felt the need to come out because I never felt the need to label my sexuality. I think I felt that because I was scared. I don’t think they’ll react badly at all. I know they won’t kick me out or do anything drastic but I think that there will be quiet judgement. My mom would be the most supportive. It’s my brothers that I’m worried about. I’ve never thought of myself as apart of the LGBTQIA+ community. I’ve always felt attraction to anyone regardless of gender, but only in the past couple months have I put it together. I see so much hate towards the LGBTQIA+ community. I realized that that hate is directed at me too, even if I didn’t consider myself apart of it. I even see posts on here like that. I always felt bad for people who were apart of the LGBTQIA+ as if that wasn’t me. Now I’m scared for what this could mean. I’m not sure what to do. In regards of telling my family, but also just living.

Answer

i won’t come out to them until after i move out(i’m 16) because my parents are hella homophobic, like they actually say “k!ll all the gays” on at least a weekly basis. if my parents didn’t openly talk about stringing me in a tree without realizing they’re referring to me, i would come out to them now. just my two cents, go for it if it’s safe. but stay in the closet if it’s not safe.

Answer

My experience: I’m 15 and told my mom last summer. My immediate family is very supportive and some distant family would disapprove but I don’t care. For me it was very liberating to state my identity and have it validated my my family. I also enjoy identifying as apart of the LGBT community. It’s a huge blessing to have at least one supporting family member. My mom never assumed I was straight and ask if I liked any boys or girls growing up. Before I was out or even knew I was pan she let me know her love was unconditional. So when I did come out she was very kind and even asked about my pronouns.
I’m sure your brothers will accept you if your mom will, even then there love for you may allow them to change! If not you don’t need anyone’s validation but yourself!
You do not have to label yourself yet or at all or come out before you’re ready. You can also just tell your mom and ask she keeps it a secret for now. You’re valid and loved! Best of luck!!

Answer

Only come out if you know you're safe. If you worry for your safety, do not do so until you know you're somewhere where you're safe and they can't kick you out for anything. I know this probably isn't a happy fun answer you want but your safety comes first. Lots of love, keep yourself safe, you valid bean <3

Answer

I don't tell my family I'm pan, but if it ever becomes more relevant, I'm sure I'll have to address it. 
I think it's your sexuality & it's your business. It's completely up to you how you are comfortable handling it & when.

Answer

It really just depends.  I understand the “not anyone’s business but your own” but I also feel liberated when I come out.
You also don’t need to come out to everyone all at once.  Would your parents or at least your mom be able to keep your secret until you’re ready to announce it to more people? And be willing to be there as backup support when you do? If so, then come out to your mom.
Always come out to people you know will be supportive first.  Build your support system.  Then you can consider coming out to other people.
The reason being, my mother is extremely acephobic (granted I didn’t know that until after I came out). She will help me plan my wedding but in the same breath say I don’t love my partner and am making a mistake because I don’t feel sexual attraction.  If I had come out to her first, I would be disheartened and probably not bring it up to anyone ever again.  Find people who will build you up, especially when the reaction you’re looking for is less than accepting will be a big help when coming out.
 
Your primary objective should be your safety.  Would anyone else be unsupportive? Would they disown you? Hurt you physically or mentally? Do they actively say homophobic and violent things? Actively spread hatred? 
If so, it might be best to stay in the closet until you’ve moved out and are financially independent.

If you were pan would you come out to your family?

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