Anxiety with pregnancy and TTC

Hi,

Long story short, I am diagnosed with many mental disorders, some of which are socially considered more “severe”.

I’ve been pregnant twice. Miscarried at 7w3d and the second at 12w5d.

I have a feeling I’m pregnant. I know my body inside and out, and I’m very aware of everything going on, even mentally.

I’m terrified to test because

1) I throw false positives over half the time, still unsure why.

2) The anxiety of getting my hopes up, being happy, and then miscarrying again.

Anyone else experience this, or anything similar? How are you coping?