Idk corny rant or something

Like a lot of people I struggle a lot with seeing myself through the eyes of other people... the way I look makes me feel like an ugly monster a lot of the time so I hate having my picture taken. I feel like a bitch or like I’m an awkward person that makes the energy in the room just go flat. I don’t want to go anywhere or be a burden on anybody so I end up staying home with my children all day and when I even go to the store alone my anxiety is so high.

I want to help people and be a better person that adds to the world, but I feel like I’m better off not here a lot of the time. How can I make others feel better when I feel like people don’t even want me to exist?

It boggles my mind that people could and do actually love me. I’m not even just saying that, I really mean that I don’t see what is even there to love. I’m a sad excuse of a person and a depressed blob that isn’t even fun to be around. I would think people would wish they wouldn’t have to deal with me anymore.

It’s such a complicated thing being depressed. I try to be happy and what not but at the end of the day I’m left wondering if what I said was bad or stupid.

Blah woe is me