Last February I had a 8lb 14oz baby at 39 weeks during a 22 hour long and very horrific labor which resulted in a 3rd degree tear. Also my epidural failed. I pushed for 2 hours and was barely able to get him out, they were about to bring in the vacuum extractor. I was absolutely hysterical afterwards, constantly screaming and crying as they repaired my tear (still with no pain reliever 🙄). I barely remember the first hour or so when I was holding my baby, all of the photos we took are no good because I look horrified and in pain. I was emotionally unstable for weeks afterwards; thinking of the birth would result in me crying uncontrollably.

Fast forward to now, I’m almost 18 weeks pregnant with a baby girl due in June. I’m so excited to meet her, but thinking about another vaginal delivery horrifies me and I devolve into a crying and hysterical mess. My husband and I are pretty sure I have PTSD but haven’t been diagnosed with anything by a doc. Also, recovery from my severe tear has been very hard. I find myself dribbling pee sometimes (TMI, sorry) and sex is often painful unless we use massive amounts of lube.

Would it be ok for me to consider a cesarean birth because of these things?