I feel like this is such a stupid question and please don’t judge my situation...

I broke up with my ex boyfriend over a month ago. This was the man I knew I would end up with, but we were going through a lot and we both became toxic so I end things genuinely thinking that it was over.

I reconnected (after 6 years) with a man I went to highschool and church with, and our moms and brothers are best friends. I had a huge crush on him and he did for me as well. He had been in contact with my brother for the last 6 months waiting for my ex and I to break up... so once we did he swooped in. He is a Christian man with traditional values and I’m more free spirited. I warned him. He insisted it didn’t matter. I told him I needed time to heal from my messy breakup and he said that was ok. But he kept bugging me about dating “if your commited to me, then why don’t we just date now? Why do u need time to heal?” So I caved and we started dating (long distance). We would spend hours a day on the phone. This man is perfect for me and I am perfect for him. It’s just who we are as people, we just blend so well! He started sending me money to spoil me since he couldnt in person. It started off with $30 a day, to him spending $500 on random items he knew I liked (clothes, etc.) and then he started sending me a few hundred dollars at a time. He put a deposit for a $2K sphynx kitten for my birthday... this whole time I told him it was all to much! But he’s very serious about me. We have similar values and honest this man is pretty amazing.

I am still in love with my ex. Madly in love. So much that I want to get back together with him. I can’t get myself to feel those kind of emotions towards this guy. I could see a life with him, but only because he treats me like a queen and wants to spoil me, something my ex lacked. I wanted to end things with him once he gets back from his work trip, but this man went out and spent $2k on a ring for Valentine’s Day. And no this is not an engagement ring.

I’m telling him tonight that I’m not comfortable with him getting me the kitten for my birthday. But how am I supposed to end things with someone so amazing who has done no wrong in the relationship? He has given me more in this relationship then I have ever gotten in my life. Aside from my car, the ring will now be the most expensive thing I own.

I feel like the absolute shittiest person out there.