So I know my title may sound a bit strange but hear me out lol.

My husband and I are trying for our second child. Our daughter will be 5 this year. From the moment I got pregnant with her I was depressed. We were going through a tough time financially. My husband lost his job, and my job cut back my hours. We went through a lot. Gas was cut off, barley made rent, and our car got repossessed. Shoutout to our family for helping us through our worst time. Between that and some drama with my MIL, my first pregnancy wasn’t a good experience. I had to literally fake my happiness through my entire pregnancy. Putting on a fake smile was exhausting. I couldn’t relate to other pregnant woman being overwhelmed with happiness about their first pregnancies because I was overwhelmed with depression and worry. I think that had an affect on me being a mom. The first 3 years of being a mom was so difficult. There were more unhappy moments than happy moments. I went to therapy, and it did help. I stopped going when the pandemic happened.

Well, it took quite sometime, but after going to therapy, learning how to take time to myself, cutting out toxic family members, and improving our our financial situation, I can finally say I’m in a much better place. It took a few years, but this is the happiest I’ve been in sooooo long. Tbh having my daughter made me realize how mentally unstable I was. She will be 5 this year. She has autism, so she needed me to pull it together. She’s the reason why I fought so hard to simply just stay alive. I know that sounds bad, but it’s the truth.

So my question is, since we’re ready for a second baby, do you think it would be silly to go to therapy for planning a pregnancy and to continue to go to therapy while I’m pregnant?? The thing is, I’m so scared that all of those negative emotions I had with my fist pregnancy will come back with my second. I’m scared of being depressed again. I don’t want to go back to feeling the way did with my first pregnancy. I want to feel happy like most pregnant women are during their pregnancy. To this day I’m jealous of happy pregnant women because I didn’t let myself experience that when I was pregnant.

Has anyone been through therapy while pregnant? Did you go because you were planning to become pregnant? Do you think it helped you when the baby was born?