Hi everyone! I just need to vent and to know I’m not going completely crazy! Do any other pregnant mamas feel like they’re going insane during lockdown!?

I’m really struggling. I’ve got a three year old boy with such a big character and personality and always full of energy. He is such a strong willed child. The only parenting tactics that work with him is to make him feel really grown up/independent and to make things seem like his idea and to give him choices. You have to literally explain every tiny little thing to him as he wants to understand and wants to feel included. He will be up at 6am without fail and talking in your ear, asking you questions, wanting you to play with him and entertain him until he goes to bed at 8pm. He doesn’t nap at all. He will flat out refuse. And normally I can cope with this. I’ve worked out how to manage him without causing total meltdowns over tiny things and to include him in whatever I’m doing. And I love him so much. He has such a character and is so funny and smart.

But I’m losing my mind having to endure him all day. I feel like I have no patience with him. I feel like I can’t be bothered to explain myself a 100x or play the same games or go outside for a walk for the 100th time. I feel like I’m living Groundhog Day. And I feel so guilty because I’m more snappy with him and less understanding and I know he’s equally as bored as me. He wants me to run around with him and pick him up and be silly like his dad does but I can’t with being so heavily pregnant.

It gets to the end of the day and when I’ve put him to sleep in his bed and he’s sleeping soundly and I look at him and feel so much guilt for being horrible to be around all day. I feel bad for being snappy and irritable and not silly and playful. I just want to be a good mum to him.

I’m a key worker. I’m a nurse but because of COVID and being in my third trimester now I’ve got to do audits and ensure everyone is working as safely and effectively as possible and they feel supported etc. I think I’m struggling with this because I’ve never been an audit worker and I feel bad I can’t support my fellow nurses at the moment. I’m used to working with people and being hands on. But I keep reminding myself I’m lucky to be in the position I’m in with work and the most important thing is to keep myself, my family and baby safe.

Anyway, so because I’m working my son goes to pre-school on a Monday and Friday for 6hrs so I can work. So I am getting a break from him but still isn’t helping my snappy/irritable behaviour.

Then I’m thinking am I snappy and irritable because I’m not sleeping great as I can’t get comfortable at night. Am I hormonal? Am I fed up of all the rib pain and back pain and heart burn?

Then I feel guilty again because i feel like I’m so so lucky to be pregnant and be having a baby and I’ve been incredibly lucky to have a low risk pregnancy.

I just feel unmotivated and tired and like I can’t be bothered with anything. But I know everyone has been feeling like this during lockdown. We’re all missing our friends and family and the news and the world feel so depressing at the moment.

Is anyone else struggling out there? I feel like all I see on Facebook is my other mama friends just playing and being happy with their children and doing all these creative and fun activities with them and it feels like they are somehow coping!?

Sorry for the long message. I do feel a bit better writing it all down!

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