I recently had blood work done at 9w pregnant at a clinic to find out the gender of our baby through something called Sneak Peek. I was too excited to wait until 14w from my doctor and I had a feeling I knew it was a boy.

Fast forward to this Tuesday, I was 9w5d and we held a gender reveal with a few of our friends. The gender was announced as a girl.

Immediately after this, my husband shut down. Didnt hug me, didn’t say anything of excitement. Just said that as soon as we leave that place, he wants to go drink elsewhere. I cried a little before we left, he hugged me said he loved me. We left the venue and I drove him to a brewery nearby where one of his friends was to meet us. The car ride was silent basically. When I pulled into the parking lot, he said he wanted to be by himself. He needed time alone to think and process what’s going on, said he loved me and got out of the car.

I went home, laid in bed and tried to process what was happening but I figured he just needed time to vent to his friend or whatever.

By midnight, he comes home and says NOTHING to me. I went to take a shower and fell asleep.

The next morning, he is still acting the same way. Gave me the silent treatment all day as if I had done something to him or I messed up. I couldn’t understand, I wasn’t grasping what was going on.

He came home from work and we sat in bed and he told me that he’s unhappy with having another daughter. He feels just like he felt when he found out his first daughter was a girl (this was back when he was in high school and obviously didn’t plan that pregnancy with her). I told him that this time is 100% different. We PLANNED to make a baby. Put so much effort into having a family of our own and HE is the one who came up with girl names! I told him that it’s like he flipped his mindset as soon as he saw the pink and is for some reason taking it out on me. He said yes. That this makes him completely unhappy, he’s worked for everything he has and doesn’t understand why he cannot have his buddy and the family he wants to have.

I then explained to him that having a baby is a 50/50 chance at either gender and there is NO way to control what is going to be had. It’s not MY fault that he’s not getting a boy, I have no control over it. Then he said that I’m being complacent and “just like everybody else” in the fact that I’ll just accept “the thing” as it is and will move on with life like it’s fine.

I told him that he’s making me feel like a burden to him and now I’m about to have to walk around getting more pregnant and then will have to give birth and he won’t love our child. He said for me to plan on that happening. He doesn’t feel like he loves me anymore and that our strawberry isn’t his strawberry anymore (the size of the baby). I have cried and cried for so long, I don’t know what to do. I told him he needs to see a counselor or something because this isn’t right or ok but he says it’s not him. I’m just being like everybody else and will just accept whatever happens. He’s left for work for the day and I’m just a mess at home...

I just feel helpless and alone. I needed to vent. Thanks for reading.

* Update:

When he was out for work that next day, we ended up speaking. He apologized for saying what he said and explained that he couldn’t help how he reacted because he strongly wanted a boy, so very badly. I asked him to never say things like that to me again and he agreed. At home later last night, he hugged my belly and told our baby he’s sorry for what he said and that he loves it no matter what. He accepts our baby and when the time comes for another pregnancy, he’ll accept it no matter what as well. I told him all we can do is plan a pregnancy and all else is out of our hands what we get.

Thank you all for your comments! ❤️

Also, he does have his daughter 50% of the time. We fought VERY hard to get to see her and he loves her dearly. Otherwise, I highly doubt I’d trust him to become a father again!