My husband and I are wanting to get legally separated for now. We arnt ready for a divorce just yet but he lives in a whole different state then I do and I’m trying to buy a house so we both decide a legal separation is our best option.

We have our first (scheduling) hearing this morning over zoom and I’m nervous because I’ve never even been to court. We had a separation agreement made for us, we are both on the same side, no issues between us. We are not using attorneys, no kids, nothing owned together.

I’m worried because the free family attorney they proved for free advice mentioned the judge will try to convince us to get a full on divorce and that’s not what we want. He said to politely say no and that you are here for separation. But what are the chances they decline the separation? Will they ask why we want this? How much detail do I give?

Our reason: after our miscarriage my mental health went down hill and so did our marriage. We fought a lot, especially with me being emotionally unstable. This led to him sinking into depression as well. I ended up in the psych ward and partial hospitalization program, as well as many different forms of therapy and medicals. We decided it would be best to split, so he moved to work for his uncle in a different state. Now I have an opportunity to purchase my own home but I want to make sure that if we get divorced one day it’s 100% mine, plus he benefits from my health insurance.

How much of that do I tell the judge?