Today one of my friends announced she's 19wks. I am so so happy for her.. But I'm also insanely jealous and so sad. I hate this so much. I just want to feel happy for her. I don't want to be sitting here in tears before work thinking about how much I wish that was me. I don't want to hide her post on social media because I can't bear to keep seeing her beautiful journey. This is the part of TTC that no one besides those going through it know about. The heart drops when someone new announces they are pregnant while here we are again waiting another month for our turn. I just want the happy feelings and I feel so guilty for being so sad and jealous. I can get through the negative tests each month. But watching someone else get what I want more than anything in the world is just hard. 💔