*UPDATE: I did talk to her privately. She said a bunch of hateful ignorant things & we are no longer friends. It’s sad but I honestly don’t feel too bad about it. Our final conversation is in the comments.

I’m sorry guys. This is a lot of text I don’t expect anyone to read but I had to vent somewhere.

Background: My husband & I are going to meet with my OBGYN on the 10th to talk about infertility testing. We are coming up on trying for 1 year, and during that year we had one pregnancy that ended in an early miscarriage. We’ve had no luck yet. He’s 38 & I’m almost 31. There’s some stuff in our backgrounds (workplace hazard exposure & other medical history things) that don’t necessarily mean we have fertility issues but it’s worth looking into & my dr wants to find out. So I’m excited about the opportunity to investigate.

More background: my friend is a few years older than I am & she is in a very very long term relationship with a guy even older than my husband who has been dragging his feet for years & I know it causes her a lot of stress & unhappiness about her own life. He has been married before, like her, but I don’t know details about it. & her ex husband she tries to compare us to down below (why, I have NO idea) was her high school sweetheart, had mental health issues, was confused about his sexuality, cheated on her with a man, and physically abused her. They didn’t stay married very long.

I told my friend in a group text with her & a second friend that my husband & I were going to see my dr next month about infertility testing. And I said I was looking forward to it. Then this happened:

You guys, I had to exercise a LOT of self control to not say more than I did to her. I wanted to say so much more but used a whole lot of will power to bite my tongue. I know if it were her situation, she wouldn’t think it was too fast. She is just very insecure about her own relationship & needs to bring people down to match her & justify it. She has a history of this behavior.

The second friend who was in this group text was also horrified about the first friend’s insensitivity & talked to me privately afterwards. (Second friend had a second trimester miscarriage in the past, & had cervical cancer a few years later so she needed her uterus removed.)