How do I feel?

So my wife and I have been trying for a baby for 2 years now. I just found out last night that she doesn’t and hasn’t wanted a baby the whole time we have been trying. Like not just because she’s frustrated with the process but like really doesn’t want a baby. How am I supposed to feel? 2 years. Tests and inseminations. That’s roughly $8,000.00 that we’ve spent for her not wanting a baby. Wtf!