I don’t know how to not think this way🤦🏿‍♀️

When I was younger I was molested by a family member for many year also molested by my dad. A few years later I was raped by a cousin when I was like 10 and a family friend last year, yes this all happened to me I’m a small person plus my family is so messed up in the head. My point is I really like this guy Damn near in love with him he helped me a lot through this trauma but sometimes I can’t help to think that he’ll rape me or one of my sisters our or kids in the future if I stay with him, or that he probably thinking about doing that just hasn’t or he does it to somebody in his family I don’t know this way seem very unlikely but I can’t help the way I think I was hurt from the people who should have protected me. Each time I get on him for something like being to close without touching me without asking, or just simple stuff he’s gets frustrated with me and tells me he’s not like my dad which’s hurts because I love my dad no matter what he did to me and my uncle as well, and he’s always like I need to stop using my trauma as an excuse which I can’t help and it just hurts me because he doesn’t understand. Had somebody ever been through this before I can really use advice

P.S if therapy help you great I been in therapy for so long also still in it till this day been through hospital and group therapy as well not really much help. So don’t say anything about therapy