Alright ladies. This isn’t baby related but I need advice. I don’t have many people to go to because I don’t want the judgement from either side of our friends or family.

So- my husband has been spending like crazy. To the point his credit card is maxed out. We’ve both gotten carried away with spending at times but he’s gone overboard. I’m embarrassed to even say how much. Anyway, before he got into his crazy spending we talked about how to spend our tax refund and IF I get a bonus. We agreed taxes will go to any debts and some put aside for vacation. He can do pretty much what he wants with it. My bonus will start going to pay down my student loans (I have a masters degree and owe about 50k) I make good money so my bonuses range between 5k-12k. With monthly payments, paying more each month pled my bonus I can have this paid off in 3-5 years if I play my cards right. Well, today at work It was announced we are getting a bonus and the percentage it’s at. If my math is right I’ll be getting just over 5k after taxes. When I told my husband he said “oh good, with that and our tax return we can pay off my credit card”. And I’m like what? I thought we agreed my bonus would start paying off my student loans. He just got kind of snippy and was just like “ok fine”. Am I wrong to be upset? I work hard and it’s my bonus. We’ve always prioritized his debts before mine- paid off TWO of his cars, paid off his credit cards before mine (although small balances). Anyway I’m tired of carrying around this debt and want to just get rid of it and I feel like it’s never going to happen. Also with interest rates frozen now is the perfect time to put money towards it because it will all go to the actual balance. I’m just at a loss on what to do. I feel disrespected honestly. Like I’m just good for my money. I know that’s not the case but right now I feel like it.

EDIT- Normally I agree paying off the credit card first. But this will be the THIRD time we’ve done that (not including paying off his cars) and put my stuff on the back burner. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of at this point. I’m not going to make him cancel it- it’s not mine to do. But honestly I don’t want to keep bailing him out. So if he just sits on it and figures it out on his own then hopefully he will learn? And if not then it’s his credit score that’s going to keep going down. We have amazing credit- in the 800s. His is now around 750 which is still super good but he’s complaining about taking a hit because of the balance and I’m like “then don’t use it?!”