Should I tell them when I’m in labor?

Question

Some of my family members haven’t been talking to my Dad and me & my husband for several months, as family issues hit the fan and they don’t seem to care to talk to resolve them. They all bailed on birthdays, zoom shower, Christmas, etc. i haven’t heard from them my entire pregnancy and am almost due, but they know it’s sometime soon. But I am likely getting induced so it will be earlier.
Do I tell them in labor? Do I just not tell them and wait until they reach out again and like “oh yeah, she’s this many weeks/months old and this was her birthday”. Anyone ever been in a similar situation? It just makes me sad because we all used to be so close and talk everyday and now I don’t even know if I should announce our daughters arrival.

Answer

If I didnt talk to someone during my pregnancy, I didnt worry about telling them. They can see it on fb or they can ask me

Answer

They ghosted you in a sense. They don’t deserve to be notified at all. If they don’t contact you then let sleeping dogs lie as they say.

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I don’t see why you’d tell them you’re in labor - it’s not relevant as you haven’t been talking, and especially with Covid when it’s not like they’d want to come to the hospital. I have a similar situation with my grandmother - she hasn’t spoken to me directly since I announced my pregnancy. I don’t even know why she won’t speak to me honestly. I’ve reached out a few times, but it’s clearly her decision not to want to speak or resolve whatever issue there is. I’ve decided I won’t be telling her directly when our son is born. She can hear it from other family members, or if we send out birth announcements we might send her one (but even then she’d get it a few weeks after his birth) but imo, she’s made her decision not to be involved. So I don’t really see why you’d personally tell any of these family members who’ve chosen to not speak with you when you’ve delivered, and definitely don’t get why you’d want them to know you’re in labor.

Answer

Not knowing the details as to why there is drama, do you want to reconcile?
If yes, maybe once the baby is born send a mass text/email with the baby pic and details, then see how they react/respond

Answer

I’ve been having family drama throughout my pregnancy as well and I’ve decided that if they’re not going to be involved in my life while I’m pregnant, they don’t get to be involved in my daughters life. I’ve tried to reconcile and talk many times and always get the cold shoulder or one word responses so the ball is in their court. Your priority is you and your baby and you might need to have a little more self respect, just as I did. There’s no need to agonize over them or water dead plants. This should be one of the happiest times of your life. Don’t let them ruin it.

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I wouldn't

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I wouldn’t tell them shit. If they reach out maybe. I’d post on social media about the birth (when you’re ready) and let them find out that way. If they don’t care about you there’s no reason to reach out

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I think you need to decide what YOU want and not what they deserve. Will you feel good reaching out to let them know? What they do with that knowledge is their choice. If you don’t care and it would cause you stress to possibly have communication with them then I wouldn’t.

Answer

You should announce that your baby is born to be the bigger person, but they aren't privileged enough to know when you go into labor. That information isn't any of their business.

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It not your job to worry about them you have enough going on. I see it as if they cared and wanted to know they would be reaching out. Plus if you don’t tell them and if they reach out and she is like a month already that’s on them if they are mad they didn’t know. I didn’t tell anyone other than work and my BFF when I was in labor and I loved that no one was bothering us. Our family thought we were both at work that day and we had all that hospital time to ourselves no interruptions and I’d totally do that again. The only person that got mad was my mil but she already lost her privilege of me caring about her feelings with her behavior towards me while I was pregnant and she knew she only had herself to blame.

Should I tell them when I’m in labor?

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