I just need support

We’re going on month 6 of trying and every month I break my own heart. I try hard not to but always get excited that I’m pregnant. When my period comes I feel blown away and devastated I’ve talked to my friend and husband about it but at this point now I just fee like I’m going to worry or upset them. I need someone who’s going through. I’m “older” at 39 and of course the demons in my head are so cruel. I need all the support from my fellow moms out there.