I feel selfish for even crying because there are women who experience miscarriage way further along than I was. Who actually got to get ultrasounds and feel kicks. I feel bad for even considering this a loss but I am hurting and I don’t know what to do.

We’ve been trying for 14 months (PCOS) and this was the first time I ever got two lines on test. I knew something was wrong because of the cramping and spotting and no line progression but I tried to stay hopeful because I had made it this far. I thought it would never happen for us but for it to happen and in the same breath be taken away. I blame myself because I promised I would relax and enjoy ttc. I had a couple drinks and smoked a little throughout this cycle and I can’t help but to think that’s why I’m experiencing this.

I don’t even know if I want to go to round 3 of clomid because I don’t want to experience this again. And if I do get pregnant again, I don’t want to have to worry through the whole time.

Please share your experiences with chemicals/early miscarriages. Did you go on to have a healthy pregnancy?

(I understand this is not quite a pregnancy loss so please delete if this is not allowed, so sorry I don’t want to offend anyone)