Discouraged

Linda

Sorry, everyone. This wasn’t meant to be a novel...

I’m just beginning to feel very discouraged with this gestational diabetes diet. My doctor told me 3 weeks ago that my blood test for gestational diabetes came back abnormal and on Monday the specialist said that I changed my diet so drastically that I had ketones in my urine sample. I feel I’ve been trying to eat better and make all of my food basically from scratch and no craving foods at all...all I want is a box of macaroni and cheese but I can’t because I don’t want to hurt myself or my baby giving in to cravings.

I changed my diet to eat minimal amounts of carbohydrates because I remember when I was on Keto that carbs can/do become sugar in your system when it’s broken down so I figured lowering carb intake and incorporating more dark green/green veggies would help. Apparently it didn’t help and I was essentially hurting my baby. The specialist said that she wanted me to lower my carb intake to 60 carbs...per meal and 30 per snack...but since I already lowered my carbs and so drastically, she said that I should maybe have 30 per meal and 15-20 per snack. So I’ve been doing that since the appointment on Monday. My numbers, however, aren’t reflecting the changes I’ve made.

My OB wants my numbers an hour after a meal to be below 120 and fasting should be below 90. I have managed to keep it around 140 with the same meals also bringing my numbers up to 166-176. The same meals! At the same times of day. And some days it’s below 120 and others it’s above 160. I don’t have a scheduled diet that has been proposed to me but I’m supposed to figure this out myself over the week before my call comes in on Monday from the specialist. I have an ultrasound on Tuesday the 9th (my birthday) and I’m excited my husband and I will get to see our baby but through all this diet crap I’m starting to feel like I’m failing my baby already. I already have an issue with the placenta being 1cm too low from where it should be in regards to my cervix, now this. The specialist said my pancreas might be maxed out and I might need to be on insulin.

I’m 27+5 and I feel so alone in all of this. I know no other moms-to-be around me who have gestational diabetes and no one I can bounce food ideas off of.

When they give you the sugar drink and make you sit through 3 blood draws in 2 hours, they make it seem like this is something you always have and your body should be able to absorb it fast. And not eating or drinking anything until after the blood was taken at the second hour made it seem like sabotage on my own body. I know it’s necessary and there’s a science behind it but it’s still frustrating that this had to happen. I never drank sugary drinks and I would limit my mac and cheese indulgence to once a week. I ate broccoli a lot and I switched things up so my body wouldn’t be used to just having one kind of food all the time. Also, when the specialist said that the portion sizes are a lot smaller, I’m thinking “So just because I’m pregnant that means that I just eat like a pig and have super large like 3 person size meals at every meal?” Now I’m SUPER limited so it doesn’t even matter.

I’m like borderline obsessed with making sure I eat at least 6 times a day, I have to test my blood sugar 4 times a day (an hour after the first bite of food at my meal time and once as soon as I wake up), and my baby doesn’t move as much as he used to. I’m noticing that he was more active with more carbs and now that I’ve upped my protein and carbs and veggies, he just isn’t feeling it or something. He doesn’t have enough energy? Does that change??

I get to talk to the specialist on Monday and tell her that regardless of eating the same foods that keep my blood sugar low, it’s still above 120 AND I might need to be on insulin. I’m having a rough time accepting all of this because NO one is helping me with a diet plan yet...I’ve had to do my OWN research and being on my own to figure all this out basically for the last 3 weeks has taken a toll on my sanity. I think that me thinking about this all too much raises my blood sugar, too. Just like negativity make you sicker than you probably are (that’s what my mom always told me) and I’m really trying to have a positive spin on all of this but I can’t see past the brick wall of my emotions. It’s getting to me and no one else gets it because no one else has gestational diabetes!

I’ve also managed to get rid of the urges to pee in the middle of the night (like the feeling of an absolutely full bladder) just with the diet change but since adding a ton more carbs I’ve noticed I’ve been waking up 2-4 times a night with a full bladder and I won’t even have had any water before bed...I don’t get it.

I just feel like me saying “my mom had gestational diabetes with me and my brother but not my sister” in the very beginning should have made everyone more aware that I could end up with a gestational diabetes problem, too. But when I got tested at 24 weeks, I feel it was already too late. I had little to no energy before accidentally being in ketosis and now my energy that came back is leaving again. I want and need energy but I’m not doing it right obviously and no one can help me unless I’m on their schedule. So I’m stuck feeling like this right now.

If anyone has any ideas for food choices that are actually filling and are pretty much guaranteed to keep blood sugar low, PLEASE help. I’ll go to the store after work and buy whatever just to try things out. I’m desperate and don’t want to be on insulin unless I actually have to. I’ll do anything for my baby but I’ll change this up again if it helps lower my numbers.

Thank you in advance,

Linda Jo