I am definitely ashamed to admit this because I am not a violent person. So I will probably receive hate for trying to hit the women who gave birth to me, but my emotions got the better of me. I haven't seen my mom an 5 years. I was very abused starting from when I was a baby. I have no idea who my biological father is, but my mom had a boyfriend(now late husband)while she was pregnant with me. He just isn't biological. He touched me from a very young. I found out he was touching me as young as 5 months old. I was raped by him at 4 and it continued for a long time. He destroyed my reproductive system. I can no longer have children. When I spoke about it I was always called a liar by my mom.

My mom reached out to me wanting to talk and reconnect. Her husband had died and she wanted to reconnect. My boyfriend agreed to come with me for emotional support. We met at her apartment and we talked. It was okay and she said it was good to talk to me. She said she hopes we can rebuild our relationship. But I needed something from her. I needed her to admit he touched me. I needed her to say she believed me. When I told her that she got quiet. She said she won't speak ill of the dead. I got upset and told her how I can't have children because of him. How I have nightmares and flashbacks. How he broke me and she got mad and told me to be quiet and she knows I liked it. She told me when I was a baby and he would touch me I wouldn't cry. That I enjoyed it. She said I didn't start crying about it until he started paying attention to her and I did it to ruin their relationship. She lied to me about so many things. She called me a liar yet she's admitting that no only did he touch me, she saw him touch me and did nothing. Then told me as a baby I enjoyed it. I tried to swing at her but ny boyfriend grabbed me and said we are leaving. She told me she knew I would never change and that I will always very a wicked person. Idk even know what that meant. When we got outside I dropped to the ground crying as people stared at me. My boyfriend picked me up and carried me to car. He carried me out the car still crying when we got to the house and laid me in bed while I cried for 3 hours. He never left my side once. I never liked him touching me. I feel disgusting all over again. I feel awful for my boyfriend because he will never bare children because of me and he was a Virgin when we met and I had been unclean since I was ababy. I don't understand why he stays. My mom didn't love me. Idek if my dad would have loved me. I have never felt so 💔...