My fiancé has bipolar and so I always show a great deal of patience even though I’m quite a quick tempered person too. I always back down and bite my tongue in arguments.

When I do occasionally pop, which is very rarely, I’m not allowed to. When I say I’m not allowed, I mean because he will ‘pop’ back even harder and he will scream and shout all the names under the sun to me because I’m always getting upset over stupid things (in his eyes).

He tells me ‘you need to know when to shut up’ during these arguments. ‘You need to know when to back down’ but I am always backing down so basically I don’t have a right to be angry or upset even though he does a tonne of shit for me to be upset about.

He usually apologises after and I know he feels bad but I’m still hurt of course and it takes me a few days to overcome or let it go.

He has started to be more controlling too. Like at dinner I drank my drink before eating and he’s like ‘don’t drink so much or you won’t eat’ and I replied ‘don’t worry I know that I’ll still be able to eat, I’m not a child’

And he gets annoyed ‘I know you’re not a f*cking child but it’s common sense’

Once again I just ‘shut my mouth’ even though he knows it upset me and has a cheek to ask me ten minutes later ‘what’s wrong with you’.

I’m finding it really hard to be around him lately and he just keeps doing these little things to show he is in control and as soon as he feels like he’s not, then it will be a long night for me.

I’ve spoken to him countless of times in his good minds about these things but it doesn’t seem to help.

Does anyone with similar experiences know how to deal with this? I’m really running out of patience and feel like maybe it’s time to walk away from this five year rollercoaster even though I love him so much 💔