I'm transgender female to male. I have used hormones for a while and have had top surgery. I decided to keep my reproductive system so I could have at least one biological child one day. Me and my wife found a sperm donor and we did a home insemination. I was so happy when I found out I was pregnant. I told my wife's parents because my parents kind of disowned me. I made a doctors appointment. The next week I woke up feeling a lot of pain and stuff in my boxers so I went to the bathroom. I noticed some blood. I was told cramping and bleeding was normal so I tried not to freak out too much. I sat on the toilet and blood clots were just coming out of me. I yelled for my wife and she came in. I was devastated. I went to the ER and I was hoping. I just had a little bit of hope that maybe they could save the baby. But no. I felt really judged there. The nurses and the doctors tone with me didn't have any compassion. They just said you're having a miscarriage, nothing we can do. I didn't notice but when I was crying my wife said one nurse rolled her eyes us.

I'm so scared to talk about it because with me being transgender, some people don't even believe I should have kids. I'm scared of someone trying to destroy me when I'm obviously already down because of their views. I can't handle it... I remember the doctor also saying "It happens all the time." If thats true then how come nobody really tells you about it. It was never talked about where I live. They made miscarriages sound very rare and if it happens it's because you did something. That is how they made it sound growing up. Also when does it stop hurting? Emotionally. When will I feel better because I feel so low and like I could have done something different...