I’ll start this off by saying I’m 21 and no one other than myself has ever made me finish.

-I’ve been through sexual traumatic events

-My first boyfriend whom of which I was with for over 5 years wouldn’t even look at me when having sex. To add to it he was the definition of a one pump chump and our sexual encounters would be just him wanting something and then finishing. After that him telling me I was too sexual and that he’s not as sexual as me because I’d still want to do stuff and he’d be done. He made me feel so horrible for wanting anything and my confidence was just nonexistent.

-My second boyfriend whom of which I was with for nearly 2 years was a little better than the first but not by much at all. I found it hard to be with him during sex even as his general style wasn’t my cup of tea, but he was incredibly cocky of his performance. Which is funny because if you’ve read to this point you know that he too, didn’t do shit.

-The man I’m with now. I’ve known for a little while now.. we even worked together. He has been nothing but sweet and everything I could want in a person. His dick game is off the charts and I keep thinking maybe he’s made me cum but because I’m not sure I’m going to say he hasn’t. I told him this over the weekend that no one has made me finish. Since then he’s been pretty upset. Every time I start getting anxious and try asking if there’s stuff I could do better he gets more upset and says it’s his fault and that I have nothing to try and fix because he finishes.

He mentioned that after sex I could just finish myself off, and that he could leave for a brief moment for me to do that. I don’t want that though and I tried telling him but he insists he’s tried everything and that he’s trying really hard but that he doesn’t know what to do.

I’m at a loss because I don’t want to live the rest of my life not ever getting to experience what it would be like for someone else to make you finish...

So what should I do... any tips on things I could do that might make it easier to finish during sex..?? Things I could try? I know I’m anxious and self conscious and I’m constantly focused on the other persons pleasure... is that the problem? Is it me? Do some women just not get off by anyone but themselves?

Thank you so much any help is greatly appreciated.