I know there are a lot of factors, background history I’ll make it short as I can.

Been together 2 years, live together for about a year.

I have had my short comings too, won’t say I am perfect. I have talked to someone but it was a one time thing and I came clean. Maybe he’s never forgave me and this is why he did this. Because before this i never suspected anything.

When we are in a good space, he is my best friend and it’s like the honey moon stage all over again.

He’s been texting girls for months, random short conversations(that I know of, I read the messages) but he was complementing them, that’s what really hurts me.

He said he never met up with them. It doesn’t matter if he’s did or didn’t because it still hurts to know he’s been doing this.

If I wouldn’t of went through his phone, which is something I DO NOT DO, then I wouldn’t of known.

I am hurt. I’m in that place where honestly most of the time I don’t know how I feel. I never thought he would do this. And IVE NEVER SAID THAT ABOUT ANYBODY, because he’s always been so into me like when we first met.

We’ve been going through a rough patch and that’s when the messages really started. He’s my longest relationship in 4 years, I usually up and leave when things get tough but I stuck it out. THROUGH EVERYTHING.

I want to forgive him. But I don’t know if I should or can. I COULD possibly, it’s always been so easy to forgive him..I feel so pathetic, he’s the one that caused the pain but at that time head the only one I wanted to comfort me, but couldn’t!

All day I’m getting triggered, I think of the messages he sent and my stomach starts to hurt so bad. Just scrolling on IG I think “would he message her, would he tell her she’s pretty?” I never felt like that before. I TRUSTED him more than anybody.