I'm in a really bad situation. I can't leave, because my boyfriend will be stuck in this situation alone. I've been abandoned all my life when all i needed was someone to be there for me. I can't do the same to him.

I don't have friends, can't see a therapist, and have no family. I'm so miserable, depressed, and anxious being treated like shit (both of us are) but he has a good heart and doesn't realize that he's being hurt more than it's worth.

I have no safe place to run to when I'm angry, upset, or scared. I don't want to leave my room even to go to the bathroom.

And the more I ignore the problem, the more "i" become the problem. It's my fault.

I can't even bring myself to talk about it with strangers and get some outside advice, because no one would understand.

I don't know what to do. I've been suicidal since elementary school. I want it all to end. I don't understand why people are afraid to die when this is the world we live in.