I’m still upset at my husband from when our daughter was born. Him and our family. I had to have an unplanned csection because of stalled labor after laboring for over 36 hours. She was also so high that I wouldn’t have been able to push her out.

My husband took a week off from work because (he says) “I talked to people and they all said they were back to normal within two days”. First off the TWO people he talked to both had scheduled C-section and neither one of them labored. They went straight to the hospital after a good nights sleep. Both their spouses took a month off from work or worked from home to help them. So DH’s week off from work was used up at the hospital.

So when we came home from the hospital he went back to work. No one came to help. None of our parents. My parents live in town and they came over to meet her and hold her but no offer of help. I was up during the night with her every night. I witnessed on several occasions DH pulling a pillow over his head when she cried. I had nerve damage from the surgery so I was in pain and the pain meds didn’t help the type I was having. So up and down all day and all night.

Then his mom came from out of town to visit. She’d sit with my daughter and tell me to get the bottles. So when bottles needed cleaned I hand washed them because she didn’t want to touch them because “you’re mom and she knows your germs”. She also made a TON of noise while she was here. I get make noise and all but she would bang pots or load a dish in the dishwasher at midnight because she doesn’t like seeing dishes in the sink. So I was catering to her during her stay and I was two weeks out of surgery and still in pain.

DH tells me “well now we know and next time it will be different”. It should have been different the FIRST TIME. He should have been listening and paid attention to his wife.

Everyone acted like I had a mole removed. I’ve never felt so neglected and cast aside before. I would love more kids and I hope we can have more. But I know I really need to get over this. I’m just having a hard time.

Edit to add: my daughter is 4 months now and no help in sight still.

Update: He came home from work last night and I broke down. I told him again how I felt. I told him that I want more children but I feel like what happened will hinder me in the future decisions of having them. He hugged me and promised that it would be different. He said he was so sorry that I felt this way. I told him straight up how I had never ever in my life felt so neglected, cast aside and isolated in my entire life. He said he was sorry that I was made to feel that way. He kept saying over and over that it will never happen again. Instead of us asking people for help and I expecting them to do right he said that we’re just going to tell them that’s why they’re doing (like our parents). It did make me feel better. I did tell him that he needed to start paying more attention to my needs because I’m so focused on our daughter that I’m not going to remember to ask for things. He needs to be a fighter for me.