I miscarried in 2011 and had never been able to get pregnant until now and I’m terrified! I’ve had multiple fibroids, surgery on my uterus (myomectomy) and the Dr. found a small hematoma near the baby 3 weeks ago. I have not allowed myself to get excited. I’ve taken things one day at a time, not wanting to see the ultrasound (in case worst case scenario happens), not wanting to know the sex too soon, not reading my baby books or sharing with family and friends. I’m just so cautious and afraid. I told myself that I won’t allow myself to get excited until the baby is actually in my arms, healthy and happy. “Why love something and potentially lose it?” Was my mindset.

I was reflecting on it this evening, just kind of thinking aloud with God and He revealed to me: whether or not the baby miscarries or you deliver full term with a healthy baby, you still need to love that baby through every stage. Even though only 11 weeks along, my baby can still feel me and for as long as it’s alive, I’m responsible to love it and give it the best life it could ever have. That’s my responsibility. How sad would it be if I did miscarry and my baby never felt love, acceptance, peace or joy?

Dang.

When God shared that with me I felt so convicted and liberated at the same time. I felt such an honorable responsibility to make this baby feel nothing but love. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love drives out fear” (1 John 4:18)

I hope this helps someone who might be struggling with fearing to love their baby 🙏🏽💓