Me and my ex had been together since December of 2018 broke up in November of 2019 because he went to jail for assaulting me but tried to tell the police that I hit him when it wasn’t the case. Because I loved him I went and got him out of jail and he still blamed me for the situation. Long story short we had been separated for awhile and I slept with someone else. He then pops up at my house and physically assaults me which led to a restraining order. May of 2019 we rekindled cause I dropped the charges and wanted to be with him. It’s been a year and he isn’t making any moves towards a relationship even with me begging and pleading. He says he needs time to heal from everything but during that time I have found out that he’s been sleeping with other people and on dating sites. He has threatened to shoot my family and told me to die. He’s also saying that I gave him herpes but I did not have that until after I met him and we had been together 7 months before I was diagnosed... I really love him despite all that (I know I sound crazy) and wanted to be with him. But he says I’m his soulmate but just not right now... what am I doing so wrong??? I’ve forgiven him for everything even though he blames everything on me. Am I in a abusive mindset because lately he’s not even attracted to me. I still love him and wanna be with him but I also wanna move on and I just can’t seem too. It’s already hard having an STD... I just can’t jump into something most people don’t understand where I’m coming from... it’s to the point where I almost feel suicidal cause I don’t know what to do anymore. Please don’t cast judgement. I just don’t know what to do or what I did so wrong it took a year for him to decide if he wants a relationship.