Hiya guys I'm just after some advice and possible things to try. I apologise its a long one so bare with me.

My son is 9 months old hes never been a great sleeper to start off with but he's just getting worse, I've spoken to his HV and she says to leave him to cry she says it's basically sleep training him so leave him to cry go in after 5 minutes lie him down say its bed time and leave and then repeat, offer boob for the first time going in and then basically leave him as he has to learn to self settle.. fine I understand that.. but he can cry then he'll cry and scream his cry causing him to cough, just to add i hate leaving him to cry :( anyway hes still in my room as I have an older son who's 5 in his own bedroom and I only have a 2 bed place my older son is currently going through tests for aspergers and adhd so I know putting the youngest in with him will cause so many problems, back to the point my 9 month old will go off to sleep fine from half 7 and he may wake twice so at 8 then half 10, he'll then sleep up until either midnight or 1am and I feed him he falls asleep i put him back in his cot and he wakes up wailing, and he'll keep crying and wailing for atleast 45 minutes to an hour if not longer I try having my hand on him or patting his bum (he likes it) but soon as hes asleep and i stop he wakes up again its a never ending circle im so tired my partner will basically leave me to sort it every singe night or he'll sleep through it all its getting frustrating and so so very tiring 😫 I don't know what else I can do because he won't stop and I refuse to have him sleep in bed with me as I'm so worried he'll fall out or anything else plus he needs to stay used to sleeping in his bed for or if I ever manage to get a bigger place, I've put it down to because he can see me and his dad cause we're sharing a room but the hv just tells me to leave him to cry and I live in a block of flats and it wouldn't be fair on my upstairs neighbours, he is breaat fed so I try and offer boob as much as I can to make sure he's not hungry and he refuses a bottle so I can't even give him formula just for bed time, please help a tired mumma out 🥱😫