Would you consider leaving him for not defending your honour?

Question

So my fiancé and father of my children tells me today that his entire family told him that they were all talking and feel he should be embarrassed to be with me.  (We have an extremely bad relationship so I have nothing to do with them for very good reasons)
Meanwhile he just allows them to say it and doesn’t stand up for me.  This isn’t the first or only nasty things they’ve had to say.  When he told me this I said his mother is a bitch and he bit my head off for it but he didn’t defend me.  
Would you consider leaving someone who wouldn’t defend your character?

Answer

Leaving him might be a tad bit extreme, but it would probably end up happening if he was my man... I couldn’t be with a man who doesn’t have my back.

Answer

Without knowing your reasons for not going around them, I would say leaving him is extreme. If you were not there how do you know he didn't defend you? Or if he feels some type of way about you not going around his family?  In my experience if they have a close relationship and you don't get along with the family your relationship is doomed. Effort goes a long way.

Answer

He can’t really change their opinions and him speaking up may just cause more issues.

Answer

Sounds like he needs to set boundaries with his family. I’ve had to do that with family members in the past. I basically wait for them to say what they need to say and then the next time I see or talk to them I told them that if the bring up subject x again (which makes me uncomfortable), I will be ending the conversation by leaving or hanging up the phone. They are entitled to their opinion but have zero right to nahe me feel like shit about people in my life or choices I’ve made. 
His family is doing something called triangulation- and you and him are both engaging in it. As soon as you both exit the drama triangle his family will lose control. The family is playing persecutor at the moment, he is the victim and you are the devil (so to speak). By sharing this story you have now moved to victim  and possibly persecutor (of his family). Get out if the drama triangle- and stop the cycle. These people only have the power you allow

Answer

This is what happened between my ex and I. He was always sticking up for his mom when she was being rude to me and I snapped one day when I was pregnant because I tried to help her and she kept snatching things out of my hands and not saying thank you when I grabbed milk for the kids(she was babysitting 6 kids) and then she said something rude(I don't remember what it was anymore)  to me and I cried and when I brought it up to him he told me I was the one in the wrong and that's his mom, and I called her a bitch and he blew up on me. He never once stood up for me to his family. Even when I was not in the wrong he never stood by me. Needless to say, I threw the whole man away.

Answer

For some people if their spouse does not have a good relationship with their family it would be a make or break situation. Due to you guys having such bad history is this the first time that he has not stuck up for you? I’m not really sure how I would feel if my fiancé called my mom a bitch but I am all for sticking up for my spouse even if I have to have private conversations with him that his behavior (to me) is unacceptable. 
It’s hard to advice your situation when we don’t have the reasons behind it.

Answer

We can’t really give good input without background. Leaving him seems extreme and we don’t know why you have a horrible relationship with his family. Him staying with you IS essentially defending you. He isn’t listening to them.

Answer

Leaving seems drastic just based on that one thing. Is this a new behavior? How do you feel about him otherwise?

Answer

If you’re in a relationship it’s you and your partner and both y’all not supposed to give a fuck what others think and have to say it’s y’all vs others period 💯

Answer

I couldn't be with someone that didn't have my back.. he might believe some truth to the words his family are saying.

Would you consider leaving him for not defending your honour?

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