When I was little I played alone a lot and never really felt love from my parents. They weren’t abusive but just not around due to my mom working and my dad not having custody so I would be at babysitters a lot, friends, family’s house, etc.

Anyways.. with that being said I have a really hard time showing love to my kiddos and when I do, it is simple and short. I obviously love my kids and would do anything for them, but to actually sit down and play with them, I just can’t seem do it. At least not for a long time.

Mind you I have 4 kids, I’m a stay at home mom while my hubby sleeps during the day since he works 3rd shift.. moral of the story how the hell do I get my mindset to where I can mentally be there for my kids and spend time with them for more than just 15 mins here and there.

I hate myself for it and I feel like a terrible mom but I DO love them. I just don’t know how to actually spend time with them without me dissociating the whole time and not truly enjoying the moments. I also have bi-polar, depression so there’s that. Lol. Ugh 😕