Yesterday my husband told me he feels depressed and wants to return to work. He said he doesn’t find helping around the house to be fulfilling and “a man should have a job.”

He does have a job. He gets 3 months 100% paid paternity leave. We are on week 3. Initially he did a lot of work around the house. This past week he’s been helping me with laundry and such. More housework type items.

I don’t know what to say. He was so excited and kept saying how thrilled he was to spend time with our toddler and help her adjust. He even committed to helping potty train her while on leave. Now he has changed his tune. I feel distraught because I do find his work around the house to be helpful. I don’t feel I am at a point to successfully manage it all, and I didn’t expect to have to.

I appreciate that he voiced how he felt and I want to be empathetic. However, I think he may feel unfulfilled because he isn’t utilizing leave appropriately. He stays up until 2AM playing video games. Then he rolls out of bed around 10-11, eats breakfast, maybe cleans or starts a project. He spends very little time with me and the girls. I don’t really know how to bring this up without offending him.

I just feel a little overwhelmed. And he just kept saying how playing with the kids isn’t a job and isn’t fulfilling, and I am doing my best to not take it personally. I’m a SAHM, but I had a career prior. I’m probably just being sensitive, but I feel insulted when he calls my duties unfulfilling and acts as though they are below him.

He says he will just work from home instead of going into the office, in case I need him. He also is still committed to potty training he says. I’m just not optimistic, and it’s all so sudden.