Y’all. I’m struggling. I started having a miscarriage on Tuesday. Bleeding lasted four days. By the fifth day my hcg was nonexistent. I even triple checked with a blazing negative pregnancy test (which still broke my heart). So I started using ovulation tests just to started tracking again. Negative two days in a row. Then out of nowhere I got a blinking smiley face!! Then another and another! Been getting clear, watery, elastic as hell CM! And all the ovulation symptoms! That part makes me happy! But not knowing when exactly I’m going to ovulate just brings me down. Not the mention the fact that my first pregnancy ever ended in miscarriage. So I’m anxious to try again and potentially get our beautiful little rainbow 🌈 but nervous to lose another.

Add on the fact that I have about 3 or 4 weeks until I’m supposed to get my next period so I have at least that long to wait until I can test again. And when that time comes, I don’t plan on testing until at least 3 days after AF is supposed to start so I can see that strong positive line! And a digital positive. Provided AF doesn’t show up at all.

The miscarriage was our first cycle TTC, believe it or not. It was crazy. I wasn’t expecting it, cycle 1 and BOOM! Baby on board! It was amazing! Then days later it came crashing down. I have hope because of how quickly it happened before but afraid my body is all out of wack now and it’ll be harder to conceive now.

I just need some hope and kind words. Feeling down 😞