Every month I get my hopes up, every month I symptom spot, every month I tell myself maybe well start our journey here and this is where my life begins, and every month I loose more hope wondering why my body doesn't work like every family member and friend I have right now. Is it me ? Is it hubby ?? I have had so many tests done and am now on my first cycle with progesterone, was really hoping this would be it, now 9dpo and stark white negatives, im tired of this pain, bitterness, self pity, anger and emptiness. I'm exhausted and currently sobbing into my pillow and screaming into my blankets (I never really get emotional about TTC). I can't even describe this emotion. 1 year + of trying, nothing but chemicals, no answers, were both perfectly healthy. Idk what to do from here with myself.