I’m writing this and feeling so many things at the same time. I can’t believe I’ve already made it to the 32 week mark and have 8 weeks (give or take) left to go!

I started my fertility journey with high hopes and in good spirits thinking my husband and I would conceive naturally and quickly. But as each month, then year has passed and my excitement and joy faded. We tried for 1.5 years before seeking medical and professional help.

Met with our fertility doctor and slowly gained confidence and hope again, but only to be devastated through 5 failed <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> attempts. I started to see a psychiatrist at this point because I was becoming extremely depressed and had a lot of anxiety. I was constantly getting triggered by things like baby announcements, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays and all these random things... even random baby advertisements etc. I would get anxiety attacks and my whole body would shake, it took me about 2-3 days to recover from those attacks.

<a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> was next on our list of attempts to starting our family together. Before I can begin I had to do 2 surgeries (cysts removal and other). I then had to self inject because my husband worked long and odd hours, since injections are all timed, I had to do them all by myself... and I hate needles. Had a few bruises so that was not fun. So I did about 3-4 shots per night for a week and a half-ish. I had a complicated egg retrieval on New Years Day 2020 and had a panic attack during my surgery. I ended up in ER for 15 hours. The only positive news was that we ended up with 4 PGT-A embryos, so I held on to that.

I had to do another surgery after my egg retrieval because my cyst returned so that was in February 2020 last year. I was suppose to do my FET in March 2020 but then Covid-19 shutdown the whole world and my fertility clinic. I was so devastated about the news, but at the same time fearful of the pandemic and what’s going to happen to my embryos.

Finally, things got a bit better and the fertility clinic reopened in July 2020, so we were one of the first patients to go through with the FET, since our cycle was cancelled back in March. I went in to do my FET on July 27, 2020... then waited to do my beta 1 on August 5, 2020... and found out I was pregnant!!!! And the best part is, my 34th birthday is the day after on August 6th!!! That was the turning point for me. All hope and confidence came back, I was so so happy. Beta 2 came back doubled a couple days after and I then was scheduled for my 6 week ultrasound. 6th week ultrasound came back normal and my fertility doctor graduated me from the fertility clinic!!!! After 3.5ish years of trying, finally my first pregnancy!!!! We were over the moon!

At the OB/GYN we did our 13 week NT scan and we passed, everything looked great, so we were super happy. Then at week 19 we did our routine Anatomy scan, the baby was being difficult so I had to go back at 21 weeks to continue the scan. Everything checked out, I found out we are having a baby girl!!! Which is what I thought it was!!! Everything went well except for my cervix which was at 2.5 which is the threshold that is a red flag. My doctor, who is a high risk OB, flagged me as a patient to follow closely. So I had to go back weekly to be monitored for my cervix. Week 23 measured at 2.4 so I was so happy it didn’t change much. I then ended up in Triage bc I felt pelvic pressure, they remeasured me and I was at 2.4/2.5. The next time I got remeasured it dropped to 1.7. We couldn’t do a cerclage (surgical tie or sewing the cervix shut) because it needs to be at 1.5 or lower to do one, and week 23 is the last week you can do it. So my doctor decided not to, as the risk is I can go into labour right away if something goes wrong with the procedure. They continued to monitor me weekly. Week 24 the measurement was 1.9 so my doctor said it’s close to 1.7 which is a nominal difference. I ended up going back to Triage because I felt cramping. They measured my cervix and it was still the same. Week 25 was 2.0 which isn’t far from 1.9 last week. I went back to Triage because I also developed a headache and they said it was stress related (of course who wouldn’t be stressed in this situation!!! Luckily it was nothing else). And by week 26 was at 2.2!!!! OH THANK GOD!!! My doctor then said my cervix is short but it is now stable. So he said we will check one more time at week 28, and at week 28 it was still measuring at 2.2!!! So I was so relieved. OB said the cervix is no longer a contributing factor to preterm labour past 28 weeks. So I was no longer labelled as a high risk patient!

I just had my week 32 scan and baby girl is now weighing in at 4.5 lbs!!!! Everything looks good! I can’t believe how far I’ve come on this fertility journey and pregnancy. It’s really a miracle that I am pregnant and that the baby is doing well!

I was so focused on my week to week milestone that I didn’t realize my overall weeks left, and right now it’s 8 weeks left! (To make it to full term). It’s all happening so fast, but I can’t wait to meet her! I have so much love for her already. She is literally god sent.

To all the mamas who read my story... you are strong, this baby chose you. You’ve got this!!! Be grateful everyday!!! ❤️

Thank you for reading. Just wanted to share my thoughts and story! 😁