So since we lost our pregnancy in December, things have been depressing. I just want to be pregnant. I work from home so it’s been super easy to just forget about every day care. I wake up, work, eat and sleep. I feel like I live my days dreaming of what could’ve been, we would’ve been preparing for baby. But now we aren’t doing anything, just work and “normal” life. TTC again is dragging. We would’ve been planning the baby shower and gender reveal 🥺 Had faint lines last cycle but AF showed anyways, I also only have one tube so the fear of having another ectopic is real. this is far from my normal. Today I realized it had been a week since I showered, a week since I brushed my oh so matted hair, a week since I just stopped caring.

Today was the day that I said no more. I don’t want to hurt and want anymore. I don’t want to dream of what could’ve been anymore. I want to have my happiness back. It took me 50+ minutes to brush out my hair (I can’t believe it was so bad), clean my living area, did some laundry and washed the bed sheets (so thankful my partner is so understanding he keeps the house kept up with), deep conditioned my hair and took a LONG steaming hot shower. Currently sitting in bed watching the office actually feeling better than I’ve felt in a minute... hopefully my hair recovers 😫 Going to sleep good tonight.

Baby dust to all you lovely ladies ❤️