Ok so I’ve been confused about my husband lately... i know i love him and in love with him. He makes me feel a certain way and I’ve always been the romantic one. I used to write him letters in high school and he would write me once in a while. I guess you can say letters but not really. They were more like a small note paragraph. 🙄

Anyway he is a good man. He really is. He takes care of me and our children he isn’t abusive or isn’t a drug addict. He truly is a sweet loving man with a good heart and thats why i fell in love with him.

The thing is i always feel like he loves me because im the mother of his children and cause we truly feel like we connect and ive been in his life for almost 15years. But i feel like i forced myself into his life... i have always done romantic surprises and tried to be sexy in the bedroom and sent nudes to him and im even way more sexual. I will initiate sex like 98% of the time. And i have never said no to him to sex the few times hes initiated. He has rejected me multiple times and i feel like im just not sexy enough cause he can actually turn me down like nothing. Even when we got married he never proposed to me.. we agreed to get married and i was just waiting for the proposal but it never came. I didnt even know what the ring looked like until the night before we got married cause i was mad that he never asked me and it was terrible.... he’s always been more reserved. He has never planned anything romantic, he really doesnt flirt with me. Once in a while cause i brought that up also.... we had a fight of why he never flirts with me.. (i know its embarrassing) hes everything the oposite of how i am. Hes not a cold person hes just more reserved like i said. Cause i know he does love me but idk if hes ever been IN LOVE with me... idk if he just felt like he couldnt leave the relationship cause he saw how in love i have been with him...

And a couple of years ago i actually found on his phone that he was talking to a lot of girls and he even sent them a dick pic and he was totally different with these girls... he never had anything physical but i feel like if i would of not found out, it would have turned into something physical...

And we’ve talked about the same situation still cause i feel so insecure now and he says he’s truly sorry and he loves me and that he’s sorry he’s not romantic with me cause he’s never been that type..

So i asked hiM to make a list of things of why Hes in love with me...

well he made his list but he typed it out. And i saw that it looked kinda weird and i googled some of the things and it turns out he actually googled from a website of why you love your wife/husband... idk how i feel. I feel sad cause it just means he couldnt think of reasons why he loves me and another part is just thinking, its ok cause hes not good with words? Idk i just dont know what to do... i love him with all my heart and soul but idk if i can be with him, cause i dont want to stop him from being with someone he can truly love.. i just want him to be happy...