I’ll start from the beginning. I had my daughter in January 2019, and I suffered from extreme postpartum depression. I didn’t even realize that’s what it was until this past summer, when instead of getting better it was getting worse. I’m talking suicidal thoughts, laying in bed all day, and lashing out.

My husband was a rockstar and took care of me, even though I probably didn’t deserve it. The only reason i feel like I stayed around was because of my daughter. Then, I got pregnant again. I’m having a c-section in 2 weeks due to previa. I’m in school full time, I work full time, and I take care of my very feisty daughter the rest of the time, my husband doesn’t get home until around 7 each night.

My husband and I got into a pretty large argument tonight, he told me all I do is complain and he’s sick of it. I totally get it, I do complain lately and I’m just so tired. I have so much on my plate. My husband always has time to go golfing or hang out with work friends, and then gets mad at me because I have no hobbies. I don’t have hobbies, and a lot of my friends are busy with their own husbands and kids so I never see them. Today I had the day off with my daughter and I called him because she had stomped applesauce all over the house while I made her lunch and I was so frustrated and he didn’t say much and told me we could talk later.

I wouldn’t want to listen to the complaining either so I get it, but I’m feeling like I’m not going to be able to talk to him about anything now unless it’s positive. I’m just so worn out. I know my PD never went away, and little things trigger it, I just don’t know how to cure it and just needed to vent.