A couple of days ago, my boyfriend and I had sex. I wasn’t really in the mood, but I did it anyway because I knew it would make him happy. Making him happy was more important to me than just not being in the mood. We’re close and I trust him enough to give myself to him even when I’m not in the mood.

After dinner tonight, he was driving us back to his house when it was just casually brought up and I told him I had not wanted to have sex. He asked me why I did it and I told him. Then he got very distant and drove in silence. We got to his house, he snatched the bag of food we brought for his grandma out of my hand, slammed his car door, and went inside. I asked him why he was upset but he ignored me. I followed him inside and waited in his room. He never came. So I texted him “please come talk to me” and he said he didnt want to. I said “do you want me to leave?” And he said yeah. So I left. (I forgot my keys in his room)

I got to my car and it was locked so I texted him to please bring me my keys. He told me he wouldn’t bring them to me because he didnt want to talk. He said he put them on the table for me to go get them myself. At that point, I was crying because I honestly didn’t know how things had gotten so out of hand so quickly amd why he was mad at me. I told him “I dont want your grandma to see me crying and ask me why. Please bring them to me.” And he refused. So I sat by my car thinking he would at least put my keys on his porch or something.

He told me he was too busy “being a rapist.” I told him I never called him a rapist and I know that what happened between us wasnt rape. I told him I would never think that pf him and that I know he wouldn’t have insisted on having sex if I had just told him I didnt want to. But in my mind, it wasnt that serious. I was doing it because I knew he would enjoy it and I do like the closeness between us duding sex even though I wasn’t particularly in the mood at the time. He kept telling me I was calling him a rapist amd that he didnt want to talk to me or give me my keys. So he let me sit outside in the 34° night alone and crying. He wouldnt even let me apologize to his face. I finally had enough and just went in to get my keys, tears streaming down my face, and avoided eye contact with his grandmother even though I know she saw me and had to be wondering why I left 10 minutes ago but just came in to get my keys. I was afraid if she asked me what was wrong, I’d tell her and she’d get mad at him for leaving me alone and cold like that. Then he would be mad at me for getting him in trouble. So it would all be my fault again.

Do you guys think I really implied that he was a rapist? I wholeheartedly dont feel that way about him and I never guessed those words would hurt him and make him think I was calling him such a horrible person. How do I make things better? I keep apologizing but it doesnt seem to be helping