I feel like about once a weeks I’m hit with a big thing of depression. And I spiral threw out the day.

I never want to self harm ever. I just get to the point we’re I don’t feel like I’m a good wife or mom. I am a new mom by the way. I have a 3 month old. I try so hard threw the week to be something I’m not and I’m exhausted by the end of the week that I break down.

My husband doesn’t help sometimes. Sometimes he can be a complete ass hole and never owns it. I’m the type of person where I own my shit I own if I’m being a bitch or what ever I’m being he never does.

We talked today about me feeling like I have to be this perfect wife and mom. Like I feel like I have to do it all. He doesn’t expect this out of me at all. It’s just pressure I’m putting on my self. I don’t know why I’m doing it I just am. I need to stop doing it. It’s not helping me or anyone else. I have this fear of loosing everything. And it hasn’t helped that I haven’t been sleeping well at all. Every noise the baby makes I wake up rite away.